Catch-up

Wow, it has been almost a year since I last posted. I have been encouraged by tons of my friends to start back up again. It is such cheap therapy. This year has been very crazy and obviously busy since I haven't found the time to post. Bec is doing awesome. She is making incredible grades the lowest being a 96, she really needs to work on math ;). She scored a one hundred percent on her taks practice test and read all 20 Blue Bonnet books. She is kicking butt on the soccer and was actually asked by her coach to play a year up this winter!! Rob is great and is starting grad school. I am not really sure how he is going to do it all. Ben is good. So many funny stories I will just have to write about. He is potty trained and sleeping in his big boy bed!!! (This is beginning to sound like a Christmas letter.)

To Rob's utter dismay we gained a third dog this past fall. A friend of mine at work found a stray dog and brought it back to the office. The dog was very dirty and collarless and so very cute. I said I would take care of him until we found his owner. I brought him home and bathed him and quickly discovered that this dog was very puppy like in all of his behaviors! I was growing more and more attached by the second. Ben saw him and yelled "Cow" I think because of his large black patches and then Ben started mooing at him! Too stinking cute and this pulled on my heart strings even more! I DID call animal control to check on any missing dogs that meet his description. I scoured our cities website and even posted about him, ok just one time. I even made signs but somehow forgot to hang them!!! Rob doesn't believe the "forgot" part! Our vet said he had obviously been a stray for a while because he was so dirty, collarless and not chipped. The vet confirmed that he was a long haired Jack Russell. He at this point became an official member of the Schneider clan because every sane house needs two Jack Russells!! God help me!!!

Genetics Appointment

You would think that after all the times we have made the trek down to Children's Hospital in Dallas that we wouldn't get confused the moment we pull onto the property. But of course we did and we ended up parking a good 2 miles from where we needed to be. Thank goodness they have a skybridge that connects all the buildings and really nice people to help lost souls find there way. 

Ben broke his all time record by clearing out our half of the waiting room within 3 minutes of our arrival. No one seemed apologetic about abruptly getting up and walking to the other side even when there were no seats left over there and it was already very crowded. People were literally standing in other people's way just to get away from us!!!!

To make a long story short the doctor was extremely nice and felt that Ben was definitely on the autism spectrum. She doesn't think he has a syndrome because he has no abnormal features or bone structure. But she thinks it is worth checking out. They are going to do a full DNA test that would show any abnormalities anywhere in his DNA. Essentially there are three things that could come from this. Nothing, which would tell us Ben's medical issues are all separate issues that have nothing to do with each other. Or it could tell us Ben has a specific syndrome or thirdly it could tell us there are some abnormalities in his genes but without the genome project being completed yet!!! and without his parents' full medical histories and their blood it is impossible to truly understand what is going on with him. The doctor told us that the wait on the blood work would be about 3 weeks.

Because our life just wouldn't be normal without some chaos, I will fill you in on what happened next. We went down to the lab to do the blood draw. To keep Ben busy while waiting for our turn Rob and I took turns walking Ben around in his stroller in the lobby. We had just enough room to make a large circle path. The lobby's ceiling was several stories high and Ben quickly figured out that this made perfect acoustics for him to hear his echo. Now, some people thought this little guy riding around in his stroller in a large circle in the middle of the lobby screaming different sounds was adorable. But others were giving us looks that made us believe they didn't think our little man was "oh so cute"!!!

Finally, it was our turn. A nice lab tech did a great job teaching Robbie and I how to hold Ben so she could safely take his blood. Quick and easy. But it wasn't until we had Ben back in his stroller that she realized she needed a little more blood. I never knew you could get so much blood from a simple finger stick. But she was able to "milk" his finger and get the blood really flowing. It took longer then the original stick and a few more muscles from Rob and I but overall no big deal. She held pressure with gauze added a bandaid and sent us on our way. We got out to the lobby and I looked down and Ben who was furiously ripping at his bandaid and blood was literally shooting from his finger. I'm not lying to you. Blood was all over his shirt and pants (of course I thought he should wear a brand new church outfit to the doctor!!!!) his face, hair, stuffed Elmo, sippy cup, stroller and even the floor. Everyone was staring at us and some really nice employee ran over to help. I am not kidding this place has nice employees coming out of the woodwork. If you are nice and looking for a job in this crazy economy you might want to apply to be a "nice, helpful person" down at Children's. Anyway, we told the lady we were fine and she said, "Well behind this door is a room full of doctors in a meeting if you think you need help." Seriously, what happy pill did she take and were can I get one??? Anyway, we somewhat got our mess cleaned up and we took off for our long walk back to the car. But boy did we get some funny looks! Ben still had blood pouring out of his finger, his face, hair and hands were blood stained and he looked like someone had taken a hose full of blood and sprayed it on his clothes. Even I had blood sprayed all over my white shirt and hands.

We are now home and resting from our adventure and the blood stained clothes are soaking in the washer...

Potty Training

So we are ready. At least physically for Tuesday. We are going to start potty training on Tuesday. First, we are going to see the genetics doctor at Children's on Monday. We have been waiting since the beginning of last April, seriously a doctor with a 10 month + wait. He/she better be good!! We aren't expecting any answers tomorrow. I will even be floored if they take blood. It will probably be a question answer session in which we are barely able to hear the doctor over Ben's impatient screams. But who can blame him, who likes to be locked in a little, cold, white room waiting for a doctor to come? We are hoping the doctor can eventually answer why our little man has so many obstacles to over come. Is there a reason (syndrome, etc) or did he just get a crappy hand. Anyway, there will be news some day, hopefully soon, to share. I am trying not to get to hyped up on getting anything out of tomorrow because I don't want to be disappointed and frustrated like I ALWAYS am when we leave a doctor's appt. We have been waiting for over 3 years for answers I am sure we can wait longer, with God's help. 

But back to potty training. Ben, Bec  and I made a trip to Target on our snow day last week, now that is a whole other story. Ben may NEVER darken the door of Target again and I don't think he or Target employees will mind. I digress, sorry. We bought all the necessary items. A bazillion pair of Elmo underpants, etc. Now this is no typical potty training regimen. It is one written by some experts that work with kiddos with special needs (I won't bore you with their names, titles) that the Total Language Classrooms in Frisco have adapted.  Now, this thing works. Quick too, typically, so cross your fingers that Ben again shows his brilliance and catches on. Of course, if you were making me walk from were I had an accident to the potty, pull down my pants, sit on the potty pull back up my wet pants and walk back to the spot I had the accident 5 times AND then had me clean up the mess all before I got to change into dry clothes I might learn too!!!! Between accidents he has to "check" himself every five minutes. And if he stays dry for 30 minutes he then has to sit on the potty for up to 20 minutes to see if he voids. Can you imagine making Ben sit on a potty for 20 minutes? I can and it is U-G-L-Y!!!!! If he does go or initiates and is successful going a "big party" will begin with tons of reinforcers. After he initiates going we can stop scheduling potty times. Then when he initiates and is successful 20 times in a row we can quit forcing him to drink tons of fluids. He is suppossed to be drinking continuely during this process. (We took 20 Capri Suns to school to prepare) This is going to be so time consuming for us and his teachers but so worth it. Speaking of his teachers, God has blessed us with the most amazing teachers for Ben, truly they are awesome and we owe them so much. They have gotten Ben to do things we never could have imagined. Anyway, this is more than you probably ever wanted to know about potty training. Sorry to bore you with the details, but please keep Ben, us and his teachers in your thoughts this coming week!!!

25 (really 26) Things About Me

This is something people are doing on Facebook, so I wanted to post it on here too. I had to break the rules just a little and do 26.

1. Meeting Rob was the best thing that ever happened to me. I called my mom the next day and told her I had met the man I was going to marry. When she asked me about him I didn’t have much to say because I had only talked with him about 5 minutes but I just knew. Rob has been the best husband and friend I could ever ask for. He has been my rock in hard times and supported me in everything. He still makes me laugh and he still makes me weak in the knees! I am so proud of him and all of his accomplishments. He is also the best father I could have picked for my children. Raising a family with him has been wonderful.
2. I admire my daughter so much. The wisdom that flows from her mouth is so mature that sometimes I can’t believe what I am hearing. She has taken her brother’s disability in stride and she truly loves him. Since the day we adopted Ben her patience with him and all the changes he brought along has been amazing. She is enthusiastic for life beyond belief and she gives everything she’s got in all situations, she never holds back!! I am blessed to be her mom.
3. From the moment I laid eyes on Ben I knew he had to be ours. Adopting him was one of the most incredible decisions Rob and I have ever made. We had no idea what we were getting into but we knew we had more love to give and we desperately wanted another child. Life with Ben has had its ups and downs but the highs outweigh the lows a million times over. Ben has taught me more about love, life and loss then anything else ever has. Every day Ben amazes me with his ability to learn, love and persevere. He is truly an amazing child who has filled my heart with more love than I knew I could have. I am proud to be his mommy.
4. If I had my life to do over I wouldn’t change a thing, not one second, not one breath.
5. I am convinced you can learn everything you ever need to know in life on the soccer field.
6. I don’t think you could ever pay a teacher enough.
7. I think being a parent is the hardest job in the world but the most rewarding.
8. If you have to take test to drive a car why don’t you have to take a test to parent? Seriously.
9. I love to cook and wish I had more time to do it. I also love to read cookbooks and have a collection of well over 100.
10. I think every little girl (and big girl) needs a big brother. I wish Becca had one. My brother Kevin has always been my biggest cheerleader and advocate.
11. My dad is the smartest man I know. He is also a lot of fun to hang out with. I think it is very telling of what kind of parent you are when your kids grow up and they want to hang out with you because they consider you a friend. I feel this way about both of my parents. I am a lucky girl.
12. My mom is an incredible artist. It is amazing to me what she can do with a few pastels and a piece of paper. I am so proud of her hard work!!
13. I am scared of snakes, fire, drowning, and artificial sweeteners and colorings.
14. I still want to run a marathon, bungee jump, sky dive and go to culinary school.
15. I still believe in Santa.
16. I love working with children that have autism. It is truly my passion. I think these kiddos have a lot to say about the world that we are just not tuned into and too dense to figure out!!
17. I wish I had had the chance to meet my Granddaddy Parker, my mom’s dad.
18. I wish I had more self-discipline and that I took better care of myself!!
19. I am so disorganized, I try but I just can’t do it!! Thank goodness Rob keeps me in line otherwise I know I would forget to do everything.
20. I love sports. I find myself watching golf on TV when there are no other sports to watch. March madness is my favorite!!! I have always wanted to take time off of work so I can just sit and watch all the games.
21. I am VERY competitive. It is bad. I am in it to win it. I drive Rob crazy. We fight (I fight!!!) over Wii games, basketball games in the pool, etc. Everything is about keeping score. Poor Rob ……. (By the way, I won both of my football pools this year, pro and college and I plan on winning basketball)
22. I hate the mall. I hate to shop. Unless it is Target and I can put some money down at Target
23. My favorite saying is “Peace Out!” I say it all the time. I didn’t realize it until my friends pointed it out. Even my adorable 4-year-old niece started saying it over Christmas. I was very proud!!! .
24. I am very opinionated and out spoken, but I think everyone knows that.
25. Some of the best friends I have ever had in my life I have made at my current job. They get me. They understand Ben and the struggles of raising a child with disabilities. They truly care and love me for me. I love them and am blessed by them daily.
26. I am blessed. I love my life and am grateful for my beautiful children and amazing husband.

Changes

Has it really been over two month since I last blogged?? Good heavens. The holidays were joyous and very busy. My family came the 26th and all 11 of us cramped into the house along with the crazy dogs. Boy was it worth it!! What a blast we had. I got to meet my beautiful niece Kelsey and hang out with my incredible family. The highlight for the little girls, and I think the big girls too, was a trip to the American Girl doll store. I think all of us ladies could have spent a million dollars on clothes and accessories. I guess I did a lot of talking about it because sweet Rob surprised me with my own doll a few days later!!!

We have made some incredible strides since the beginning of this year. With the awesome encouragement of our family trainer, yes it takes a trainer to help Rob and I get our stuff in order!!! We have gotten Ben sleeping through the night!!!!!!!!! It seems amazing we really did it after fighting him for 3 and 1/2 years. We have gone from awakening 10-20 times a night (literally) to all of us sleeping peacefully. The sad thing is, all it took was me talking to Ben about it, priming him, and us ignoring his cries and outbursts during the night. Now don't get me wrong, Ben does still wake up, but Rob and I just roll over knowing he has given up on us. He is now calling for all other family members and his teachers. So if you hear a pitiful "Jo Jo", "Kevin" or "Nurse Pam" in the middle of the night just roll over he will give up on you too, eventually!!!  

We all feel much more rested and ecstatic  that this is finally under control.

The crazy thing is we have now realized Ben understands so much more than we ever imagined. It is amazing and awesome but I do feel guilty I never clued into this before. Anyway, now that we know this we are able to combat so many behaviors before they even began by preparing him for changes, etc. Yes, I feel so dumb, I tell parents this all day, "Just prime him before hand" "Explain what is going on". But I guess with Ben there have been so many mysteries we were never able to focus on what he could actually do versus what he couldn't do. I think I have spent so much time worried about what he was missing out on and what he couldn't do that I wasn't seeing the incredible things he was able to do and understand. I think this has opened a whole new window for us. I told Ben the other day "Go get a kleenex from the bathroom and wipe your nose." Lo and behold the sweet pumpkin did exactly that and then took it to the kitchen trash can and threw it away!!! SERIOUSLY, what have I been doing?? I think it is called mourning, worrying and feeling sorry for myself and Ben. Good God I love the adorable kid but his life is about to change and so is ours, sorry Buddy Boy but we will all be the better for it!!

Election

No matter your political stances or beliefs I think every American should be proud of what happened today. Although it was over 200 years in the making, we should be proud that we as a country have elected an African-American as president. We have also given a darn good fight for women in this election and I think many barriers have been broken over the last year. We should be proud that it came down to issues and not sex or race. Isn't that what our Founding Fathers meant for this country. I personally feel a weight lifted from my shoulders. I hope you can too.

Political Junkie

Becca is a bit sad tonight. She thought today would be the big day before Hillary won the presidential election. Seriously, she mourned for days after Hillary did not get the nomination for the democratic party. I think her exact quote was,  "She is a nice lady, we need a woman. Really have they not looked at her smile. She has the best smile of anyone I know." I guess I didn't know she and Hillary were so tight!! 

Rob and I had prepped her that it was likely that Obama would get the nomination, but I think we were the ones not quite prepared for her anguish. As the months have passed she has been watching the news and asking questions. We literally find her watching the news in the mornings, sometimes the local channels but often watching what she calls the "real news" -CNN, not "mommy's news"-the local channels. Over time she has decided that Barack is her man, even though he made a "HUGE" mistake not choosing Hillary as a running mate. She likes his stance on many issues (I swear I am serious) and likes the idea of the first African-American president. She has even been quoted as saying, "I think he will make good decisions for Ben's benefit". (You gotta love this girl!!!). This was after watching several news segments on the candidates' stances for funding for special needs.

 We will see what the next four years brings, but she is still holding out hope for Hillary in 2012.....who knows maybe someday it will be my Becca Boo!!!

"A-sund-a-toad"

Ben had been asking for something that sounded like "a-sund-a-toad" for several weeks, seriously standing at the frig screaming this mystery word. Or when I forgot the child safety lock rummaging thru the frig throwing over his shoulder everything that was not "a-sund-a-toad" glass jars and all. We had tried naming everything......strawberry-NO (at the top of his lungs sometimes with some other mal-adaptive behavior), banana-NO, cheese-NO, cheesestick-NO, cookie-NO, chicken-(you got it) NO, pancake, milk, beer, pizza, chips, cheetos, graham crackers, hot dog, ham, turkey.........Finally, two Saturdays ago at my wits end I said "potato" "YIPPY" screamed Ben as he ran through the house screaming "a-sund-a-toad" Thank God, I was detective of the year, mystery solved. I rummaged thru the pantry to find one lone potato, we hadn't had potatoes in multiple weeks. But there he was gleaming ready for the microwave, no growths, or buds just a beautiful baking potato. I threw that puppy down and baked him up. As I cut him open I noticed an odd green color on the inside, hey at this point nothing was going to detour me from feeding my baby boy his potato. As I was mixing in the works; cheese, ranch dressing, etc. the color started to nag me. I mentioned it to Rob and he decided to google it. Ben was loving his first few bites, he was truly in heaven, when Rob said "Hey, you may want to stop that." Seriously are you kidding me??? Ben was happy, mommy was happy, hell even the dogs were happy. Rob went on to say there were questionable things on the internet about green potatoes and  toxins, since when do we believe what we read on the net??? Rob decided he would run to Wendy's where they have baked potatoes ready to order. Great idea!!! He was gone for what seemed like a lifetime, only 15 minutes, but the whole time Ben was throwing things, hitting me, the dogs, and himself and screaming like nothing I had ever heard. Rob raced in the back door and I threw in the fixin's and tried everything to cool the steaming hot thing down. (Ben finds only room temperature foods edible.) Finally, it was ready and what does my amazing, incredible, adorable son do? Eat two bites, and he was done! SERIOUSLY!! I am now keeping a box of mashed potatoes at the ready.......lesson learned!

Gimpy Ben

This morning Ben decided to bless us with a sleep-in. Rob and Becca took off to her early morning soccer game in 40 degree weather (I pulled the long straw I will get to go to her 1pm game tomorrow!!!!!). When Ben decided it was time to get out of his crib at 9 I bounded upstairs full of energy and vigor (yea right you all know better than that). I lifted him out and set him on his feet and he crumbled to the ground crying. I picked him back up and he started limping around and headed very slowly to the stairs. It was impossible to get him to go down the stairs because he wouldn't bear much weight on his left foot. I am so glad he is such a petite child and I can bound down the stairs holding him in one arm!!! (do I need to say "yea right!!"?) Anyway after letting him hobble around for a while and resort to crawling I decided to call his doctor. God love the sweet guy he takes phone calls on his cell phone!!!! He said since Ben can't tell us what hurts and how it got hurt and because he was perfectly fine last night we should head to the er. Thankfully, again God love the man, he told me that the new Childrens' Hospital satellite er was open just 4 miles down the road so we wouldn't have to head downtown to that Children's. I waited for Rob and Bec to get home and we headed south 4 miles. Since all of Ben's extensive history is in their system it makes the whole triage/paperwork much more pleasant. Anyway, 12 x-rays later and 2 short hours later we left with the diagnosis of a sprained ankle that must have occurred during the night when he either got his foot stuck between the crib and mattress or in between the crib slats......evil crib!!!! Anyway, thank God for good doctors, sweet nurses, x-ray machines, x-ray technicians who can stand getting the s@#$%@$% beat out of them by a cute 3 year old, close hospitals and a patient and sweet big sister who helped entertain him the whole time!

Everything Becca will ever need to know she is learning on the soccer field

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose

Don't be a ball hog 

Listen to your coach 

Your parents will embarrass you (especially when they high step down the sidelines high fiving all the parents after good plays) but it is only because they love you and they can't help themselves 

Work hard, play hard

Practice

Trust your teammates

Be a good team player

Fine tune your personal skills and practices those things you don't like as much or aren't as good at

Be a good sport

Sometimes there are rainouts

Cheer on others

Clap when the other team scores

Always shake hands

If you score a goal thank your teammates for their support

Protect your goalie

Never be cocky

There is no crying in soccer (I am just kidding....)

Follow the rules

Take care of your injuries

Rest during halftime

Drink plenty of water

Sometimes the ref will make a bad call

Sometimes things aren't fair

Different parents and coaches have different rules and expectations

You my get knocked down, but try your best to get up

Give it your best shot

Congratulate the other team at the end of the game

Don't cheat

Never give up

It ain't over till the fat lady sings

Break a sweat

Play till you think you can't play anymore

But most of all ALWAYS have fun!!!!!

Thank God for long lasting batteries.....I think......

So Rob's family is really good about sending cards on all occasions and I love it because it is not something I have ever been good at. They especially like the music playing cards that Hallmark started making a few years ago, they really are cool. Ben has also discovered the joy of these cards. In Ben's world the best way to listen to them is with the card open covering your face while  spinning in tight mind boggling circle. The moment it gets near the end of the song, while not missing a beat of his mid-spin he will close and reopen the card to restart the music. Now sometimes on real exciting days only a few measures of the song can play before he must close and reopen the card to restart it. Now, people in my life will tell you I exaggerate, not just a little and not just occasionally but often and alot but when it comes to this I am not, just ask Rob, this music playing can go on for hours really hours! I swear the songs get louder as the time goes on, Ben spinning the whole time in the happy land of  "Stim". At first when this started Rob and I looked at each other and said "Oh God how long can the batteries handle this?". But I will tell you a long, long time. Ben goes for the card first thing in the morning. Each card has picked up a new individualized name made up by Ben ie."Card" "Song" "Music" etc. After several weeks a new toy will become his favorite or a new card will arrive in the mail. Today it was a Halloween package and Winnie the Pooh is happily singing in the background right now over and over again. At least MC Hammer and "You Can't Touch This" will start gathering dust tomorrow and I can put my gold pants away at least for awhile. 

In our world trains are tractors and anything goes!!

Ok, so I got another call from a school today that one of the kiddos was sick. This time it's Ben and pink eye. God love the nurse, she was so apologetic being a working mom herself, but yes I did need to pick him up and yes he did need to stay home tomorrow. It will have to be Rob because with my major burn accident right before school started, strep throat through the family and Becca's exciting case of lice I am almost out of sick days and October isn't even over yet!!! OOOPPPSSS. 

So Ben gave Rob a major run for his money the other day crying for  "tractor" now mind you lots of things are called by the wrong name in our house but "tractor" was a new one. He does actually have one tractor but of course that was not what the poor guy wanted. Rob tried every wheeled vehicle in our house. Very similar to "Trains, Planes and Automobiles". This went one for several hours, for Rob I am sure it was several years. When I got home I went into the kitchen and from that angle I noticed a Thomas the Train engine wedged into the coffee table that I had never seen Ben play with (it actually belongs upstairs on the very dusty unused train table). I retrieved this and handed it to Ben manna from heaven!!! Rob walked away shaking his head. Ben has yet to let this "tractor" go several days later. Our newest favorite toy! I always wonder what it will be next. At least it is a toy and not a spoon or my $45 electric toothbrush.

So we usually don't correct what Ben calls things unless we feel it is necessary, we are just glad he has words. But yesterday his courageous teachers decided to change tractor to the appropriate train. It took a solid 41/2 minutes of Ben's pure stubbornness and lots of Skittles to get Ben to say "train". He knew the name just felt it was important that the toy be called tractor. I am sure he has his reason, the drum beat he walks to is different, and I can appreciate that most of the time. If only I had a ticket to his concert every once in a while!! 

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